You can be doing a lot right and still feel off.
Still second-guessing yourself.
Still wondering why things feel harder than they should.
Still asking, is it just me?
Not because you’re failing, but because no one ever taught us how to trust ourselves.
Most of us were taught how to work hard, be responsible, and keep things moving. We learned how to perform. How to show up. How to push through. What we didn’t really learn is how to build inner confidence—the kind that doesn’t disappear the minute life gets complicated.
And life always gets complicated.
At one point in my life, I was running a seven-figure business, raising three kids, and training as a competitive athlete, while my marriage was coming apart.
If I’m being honest, I don’t have a heroic explanation for how I did it. I didn’t have a master plan. I wasn’t calm or organized. I had momentum and a pretty strong belief that stopping wasn’t an option.
Some days it worked.
Some days it didn’t.
But I kept going anyway.
And I think that’s the part people don’t talk about enough. It’s not that you have it all figured out; it’s that you don’t stop when you don’t.
Still, even when you’re moving, there can be this quiet doubt underneath it all. Like, no matter how much you’re doing, it never quite feels like enough.
That’s what a lack of inner confidence feels like.
When your inner foundation is shaky, everything gets louder. Decisions feel heavier. Relationships feel more strained than they need to. Peace feels like something other people have unlocked.
So you push harder. You try to be better. You chase the next thing, hoping it will finally settle you.
But confidence doesn’t come from doing more.
What Inner Confidence Actually Is
Inner confidence isn’t arrogance.
It’s not walking into a room thinking you’re better than anyone else.
It’s walking in without measuring yourself at all.
It’s trusting yourself to respond to what’s in front of you, even when you don’t have the answers yet. No performance required.
There’s research behind this, too. A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that people with higher self-confidence experience lower stress, make better decisions, and report greater life satisfaction. Not because life is easier, but because they trust themselves to handle it.
That trust changes how you move through the world.
How to Start Rebuilding Inner Trust
Here’s the good news: you don’t need to become confident.
You need to remember that you already are.
And it starts small.
Keep promises to yourself.
Drink the water. Send the email. Do the thing you said you would. Trust builds through follow-through.Pay attention to how you talk to yourself.
You wouldn’t let your best friend speak to themselves the way you sometimes do. You don’t need to either.Notice the wins no one applauds.
The day you rested. The boundary you held. The moment you didn’t over-explain.Be selective with your people.
Stay close to those who remind you who you are, not who you should be.Move before you feel ready.
Confidence grows by moving, not by waiting until you feel certain.Come back to what matters.
When you remember your why, fear doesn’t get to run the show.
What Changes When You Trust Yourself
When inner confidence comes back online:
You stop apologizing for taking up space.
You make decisions without rehearsing them first.
You stop performing and start living.
That’s what it means to Age Out Loud,to live awake, honest, and self-directed at every stage of life.
You don’t need to shrink.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
And you don’t need to do this alone.
Ready to Age Out Loud?
I’m opening the Age Out Loud waiting list, a space for people who are done performing and ready to live with more clarity, confidence, and self-trust.
When you join, you’ll also receive a free copy of my Clean Eats Playbook, a simple, no-nonsense guide to fueling your body in a way that supports energy, confidence, and longevity.
👉 Join the Age Out Loud waiting list + get the Clean Eats Playbook here - https://funnels.kate-mckay.com/age-out-loud-274140
You don’t need to become someone new.
You just need to stop forgetting who you already are.
Age out loud.
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