Let’s get one thing straight—confidence isn’t something you’re either born with or doomed to live without. It’s not some VIP club you get invited to. It’s a skill. A mindset. A muscle you build through action, repetition, and a little audacity.
I wasn’t always confident. I was just committed to not letting my fear be the boss of me. Because truth bomb: fear will ride shotgun unless you kick it out and take the wheel.
So if you’ve ever said, “I just wish I had more confidence,” this is for you. Below are the five steps I teach in my high-performance coaching and walk through every time I need to dial up my own courage.
1. Move Your Body, Change Your Mind
Confidence lives in the body before it shows up in your voice.
Power pose. Dance break. Deadlift something. Your body holds the key to your boldness. Movement literally changes your brain chemistry—releasing endorphins, boosting dopamine, and reminding you that you’re alive and in charge.
Even a 2-minute walk with your shoulders back and chest open can reset your entire energy.
Try this: Set a timer and take five deep belly breaths. Stand tall like you mean it. Confidence starts here.
2. Speak It Into Being
What you say about yourself becomes your reality.
Are you saying, “I’m terrible at this,” or “I’m figuring it out”? One keeps you stuck. The other opens the door to growth.
I use mirror mantras every day. Why? Because the most important conversation you have is the one you have with yourself.
Your new mantra: “I trust myself to figure it out.”
3. Create Micro-Wins
Confidence isn’t built on giant leaps. It’s built on small, consistent wins.
Make your bed. Finish the workout. Follow through on that one thing you said you’d do.
Each one is a vote for your future self. And over time? That adds up to unshakable confidence—not because everything is perfect, but because you kept your word to yourself.
4. Surround Yourself With the Right People
Your tribe is your vibe. Period.
If you hang out with people who doubt themselves, play small, and see obstacles as walls—you’ll start doing the same.
But if you’re around people who challenge you, celebrate your weirdness, and dare to think big? Your confidence rises just by being in the room.
Audit your circle. Choose people who speak life into you and believe in your mission—even when you’re doubting yourself.
5. Take the Next Brave Step (Even Scared)
Courage is the decision to act even when confidence isn’t present yet.
Want more confidence? Stop waiting until you “feel ready.” Take action while you’re shaking. Make the call. Send the pitch. Say what needs to be said.
You don’t need to slay a dragon today. You just need to take the next brave step.
Here’s your challenge:
Pick one of these five steps and practice it daily for the next week. Write it on your mirror. Post it on your phone. Better yet—DM me and tell me which one you’re committing to.
And if you’re ready to go deeper, I’ve got a free resource just for you:
Download the FREE preview of Peaceful Ambition and take the first step toward your boldest, most confident self.
Let’s do this together.
With grit, grace, and greatness—
Kate McKay
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